-good news. me and my friend went to the pricipal. she almost got expelled, but seeing as she didn't have the weapon with her, they couldn't do much about it but give her a warning.

-can you believe that??? a warning. she threatens our lives and they give her a warning. "don't let us hear you're going to do that again,". God our school's screwed up...

-anyways. have a swell rest of your day.

-some crazy psychopath is gonna bring a knife to school. just to prove to everyone that she's not a chicken, and she's not a poser, and she's not a lier. we all know she's not brave enough to go forth in the act of bringing a knife, but it still scares the crap out of me.

-my bestest friends have been being kind of mean to her. they talk about her behind her back. i'm basically a neutral party. i don't take part in the crazy things they do to bring her down because i know how it felt to be completely hated by the people you used to trust and love.

-she wants to stab my bestest friend.

-i started crying in art because of it. no amount of words or actions could really express how i would feel if she were to bring a knife to school and stab my bestest friends. i cannot shake that from my skin. because in the back of my mind, i'm left to wonder the what-ifs. what if she really does bring a knife to school? what if she really does kill my bestest friend? i don't even want to think about it the thought is so horrible.

-and what if she killed jeremy? what then? fuck. i need to stop thinking about this. NOW. before i start getting uber crazy thoughts in my head. then i won't be able to sleep. oh crap.

-why is this happening?

</3

-everyone seems to be discussing the wonderful things going on in their life. it's kind of amazing nothing good has happened to me since about january. in other words, i'm extremely depressed because the jeremy [the guy i love] is going out of his way to ignore me and my old best friend is telling these stupid lies that don't even make sense. she said he was at her house trying to seduce her and that she gave in and had sex with him. and i don't know why she's saying that. because what kind of "best friend" tells you she had sex with the guy you love AFTER you tell her you loved him? i don't know. maybe they really did do stuff and it wasn't a lie. i wasn't there, so i can't tell you for sure. and besides, that just makes her even sluttier than she claims to be. [after thought- who actually wants to be slutty?] 

-somedays life just sucks doesn't it? i guess you get through it. omg valentimes day is coming up. i hate valentimes day. it's like one of those holidays invented by the people that love making people's lives miserable. because if you don't have a valentime you basically spend the 14th all alone watching movies and eating ice cream out of the carton.

-grr. life sucks. but once again, i guess it gets better. hopefully.

-have a swell night. i'll try my best not to cry too much!  

-okay. just to prove both of you people wrong, my song is way different from pink's. i looked up the lyrics. the only similarity was the fact that hers says 'stupid girl' too. and basically, anyone can come up with that.

pink's lyrics-

Stupid girl, stupid girls, stupid girls
Baby if I act like that, that guy will call me back
What a paparazzi girl, I don't wanna be a stupid girl

Go to Fred Segal, you'll find them there
Laughing loud so all the little people stare
Looking for a daddy to pay for the champagne
(Drop a name)
What happened to the dreams of a girl president
She's dancing in the video next to 50 Cent
They travel in packs of two or three
With their itsy bitsy doggies and their teeny-weeny tees
Where, oh where, have the smart people gone?
Oh where, oh where could they be?

Baby if I act like that, that guy will call me back
What a paparazzi girl, I don't wanna be a stupid girl
Baby if I act like that, flipping my blonde hair back
Push up my bra like that, I don't wanna be a stupid girl

(Break it down now)
Disease's growing, it's epidemic
I'm scared that there ain't a cure
The world believes it and I'm going crazy
I cannot take any more
I'm so glad that I'll never fit in
That will never be me
Outcasts and girls with ambition
That's what I wanna see
Disasters all around
World despaired
Their only concern
Will they **** up my hair

Baby if I act like that, that guy will call me back
What a paparazzi girl, I don't wanna be a stupid girl
Baby if I act like that, flipping my blonde hair back
Push up my bra like that, I don't wanna be a stupid girl

[Interlude]
Oh my god you guys, I totally had more that 300 calories
That was so not sexy, no
Good one, can I borrow that?
[Vomits]
I WILL BE SKINNY

(Do ya thing, do ya thing, do ya thing)
(I like this, like this, like this)
Pretty will you **** me girl, silly as a lucky girl
Pull my head and suck it girl, stupid girl!
Pretty would you **** me girl, silly as a lucky girl
Pull my head and suck it girl, stupid girl!

Baby if I act like that, flipping my blonde hair back
Push up my bra like that, stupid girl!

Baby if I act like that, that guy will call me back
What a paparazzi girl, I don't wanna be a stupid girl
Baby if I act like that, flipping my blonde hair back
Push up my bra like that, I don't wanna be a stupid girl

-so there you go. her lyrics and mine. quite different if i do say so myself.

-i just wanted to set things straight so you wouldn't think i'm some copyright-ignoring person that steals other peoples lyrics.

-have a swell night!

[verse 1]- she tells you she's an orphan after you meet her mom and father / she claims she has problems, you try to help, she says "don't bother" / you tell her you love someone, so she goes and steals him away / you get so sick of her you want to scream and say.

[chorus]- you're nothing but a stupid girl / the one that took my guy / you're nothing but a stupid girl / you make me wonder why / will i turn out to be like you / stealing someone else's world / i try to wish the best for you / even though you're just a stupid girl.

[verse 2]- she tries to fit into society's mold / yet she's left alone, in the rain, in the cold / she'll be your friend, then talk sh** about you / you want to fix her / but theres nothing you can do / she says she wants to die / then is happy the next day / she makes you so sick you / you want to scream and say.

-so. that's my newest song [i wrote it this morning].

-oh yah! i got my computer to work. yay.

-anyways. tell me if you like this song.

-have a swell super bowl day! </3

[chorus]- i know you want her / but she's right in my way / i try to push her away / but there she stays / and i know you need her / she's the one you want / because she's everything / everything i'm not.

[verse 1]- she wants you too / i can see it in her eyes / and as she flys in the skies / here i cry / but what goes up has got to fall / she's got it all / it's you she calls / to keep her company / to stay the night / as she lays in your arms / till the sun sheds it's light.

[pre]- go away / i don't want to see you / i should fall for someone who wants me too.

[verse 2]- i thought i loved you / i guess i was in denial / but i'd still run a million miles / just to see you smile / i used to love the way / you said my name / it seemed like a game / till it went up in flames / nothings the same / as it used to be / because you're still you / and i'm still me.

-so. it's my new song! tell me if you like it or completely hate it.

-have a swell rest of your day!

-sorry i never write anymore. algebra has been taking it's toll on me. i've been going straight home and sleeping instead of coming to the library to write fascinating blog entries about how all my "friends" are out to get me because i don't give them the answers to their homework.

-and about my computer working? it worked for exactly 52 minutes. then it just shut itself down and made me cry. i thought i was actually gonna work. but instead it goes all defiant on me and decided to turn itself off and stop working. *tear* 

-yah. i guess now's a time when you come to realize that nothing's what it seems. i have just 3 words to say to you....... TRUST NO ONE.

-have a swell day!  

-yayyayyayyay! my computer finally works!!! happiness!

-merry belated christmas! i got a digital camera yay!

-oh well. my cousin's here and he's playing the spongebob game. he's having uber many troubles. i have to go help him.

-yay buh-bye for now! </3

- i hate christmas break. theres nothing to do except watch maury and dr. phil and write songs. its very boring. i'm contemplating jumping out the window. just kidding!

-i feel like doing a cartwheel. i started writing a new song. but its only the chorus and pre. nothing else. i still need to write the damn verses. crap.

-bored. bored bored bored. *yawn*. i'm sleepy. we get to exchange presents with my bestest friend in the intire universe today! yay. i got her a charm bracelet. yay! i'm still bored.

-*yawn* im gonna go fall asleep behind a bookshelf where no one can find me. yay! buh-bye!

-how come they say that your teenage years are supposed to be the best of your life? whoever said that must've been on CRACK. because this shit SUCKS.

-it's not that i'm all depressed and crap. i just feel like crying. i mean, i'm happy and all, but i'm still sad. plus, one of my friends and her boyfriend just broke up. and it's her thats making me mad. sure, i feel sorry for her, but i just can't shake the fact that she wants me to stop liking this one guy. she makes up this ludicrous stuff about how he likes her better than me and how he said that she was prettier than me and "he said, he said, he said" crap. it's making me sick

-and my best friend says that she's uber jealous of me because she thinks hunter (the guy she likes) likes me. and thats just weird because nobody (not even my mom) likes me. completely crazy.

-i'm sorry about this. i just have to get my feelings out. so you can ignore this or whatever. i'm just ranting. it helps me feel better. you know. it gets my emotions out and onto the computer. it really works.

-so yah. today pretty much sucked. and we had effing exams. who has exams in middle school? i guess its because we're on a high school level (damn Algebra I ) so we have to do 'high school' stuff. stupid exams. but good news! i got a B! yay!

-i am so bored. OMG! tomorrow we get out for christmas break! omg i'm gonna miss jeremy. he said he's moving to arizona with his dad. but i don't think he is. because he said he was going to get a Gibson guitar exactly like billie joe's, but instead he got a weird one that only looked remotely like his. so yah. he's probably not moving. but if he was, i'd tell him for sure that i loved him.

-love is so complicated.

-omg. i'm inspired. i feel like writing a new song! so hastalabyebye for now! </3

-God i sound like i'm 40. but i really have been thinking about "back in the day". like this morning i was thinking about my dad and how i didn't know who the hell he was until i was 4. then for the few moments that i'd get to see him (he always worked nights. when i was sleeping) we'd play donkey-kong and he'd slip me tapes of metallica and guns'n'roses and aerosmith and tell me "listen to them. but don't let mommy see them." and i'd always say "you got it dude!". then when i was about 9 i was obsessed with motorcycles. so he took me to a motorcycle shop an hour before an important piano performance i had to go to. i was wearing a dress and these shoes i couldn't walk in, but he didn't care and neither did i. so i got to ride a pretty black and blue motorcycle with him. yay. even though he almost crashed into a trailer and i burned my ankle on the muffler. needless to say, i was completely distracted when i got to the piano and almost blew it. but i recovered and the judges didn't notice i missed a note.

-aah the good ol' days. i miss them alot. it feels weird that it seems like yesterday i was in elementary screaming to my mom "i'll fail if i have to! i just don't wanna go to middle school!" and yet, here i am.

-so. hastalabyebye for now and i'll probably write again Thursday (tomorrow's piano practice!) </3

-ps i wrote a new song and it kicks butt!

-i'm so bored. yep i am.....i started writing a new song today. but the sucky thing is i can't seem to remember what comes after the first 2 lines. so yah.

-tomorrow is the christmas dance (which i think should be called winter dance because christmas may be offending to some non-christians). i think jeremy (the guy i like) asked one of my old best friends. but now she's a dumb bimbo that pretends to be stupid. which is uber gay because she got an A+ on her vocabulary test and the rest of us failed. but oh well. thats her problem not mine.

-do you ever feel somedays that you can't trust anybody? and that you just should isolate yourself so nobody can hurt you? i feel like that. don't know why, but i do. but i really feel like ripping lauren's head off. because she's an evil backstabbing biotch that needs to get over herself. grr.

-i don't know why the hell i feel this way. like i said yesterday, one minute i'm happy and the next minute it takes everything i have NOT to get to close to lauren because i might stab her with my pencil.

-grr. i hate this.

-but that's okay because eventually it'll be all over and i'll be underground and no one will remember me and everything will be all right. i think.

-grr i'm bored. did you know theres a bored.com? there is! lol. its funny. :)

-i feel like doing a cartwheel or writing a new song. don't know why, but i do.

-i'm not uber happy like i usually am. i don't know why. i should be happy. because the dude i like was actually acknowledging (did i spell that right?) me instead of the dumb blonde jessica simpson wannabe that everyone likes. so i should be happy.....right?

-i'm so pissed off at myself. because my "best friend" that i'm supposed to stick with for all of eternity is acting all cocky just because this one guy likes her. and she's even developed this lisp thing (like she says her 's' like a 'th' and all this sh** that makes her sound like a dumbass.). that and she's changed .she's not the lisa i knew and loved way back when. she's different. WAY different. she's like an Edie or something. and mr.whoever that likes her probably can't see the real her. she's going into a hazy blind where no one knows who she really is. and she'll emerge however she wants. damn, she's like one of those transformer armada things they're always showing on tv. what has become of society these days?

-so yah. i'm uber pissed off because i hate my "best friend" that wasn't really my friend to begin with. so.....whatever.

-i feel like writing a new song. i don't know why.

-i have no clue what's wrong with me. one minute i'm happy and the next minute i'm completely mad. like now. i was happy when school got out, but not i feel like ripping someone's head off. (probably lauren.....little evil backstabbing biotch that also used to be my friend. i've basically isolated myself from the ones i used to love, i guess).

-omg i'm bored. and i still have algebra homework. i hate algebra. curse whoever invented it and all its letters and big numbers and square roots and.....all that other crap that i'm never going to use in the real world. oh well. life sucks and eventually you get over it. like my friend says, "when life kicks you in the balls, kick it back".

- i feel a bit better now. yay me! the library's about to close so i'm gonna get a-going. </3

-i'm uber hyper. i have no clue why. maybe its because of the coffee i just drank. oh well. whatever.

-okay. my name is madyline thomas, but everyone calls me maddie, i play guitar and piano and i write songs. nothing amazing. i just thought you should know that. oh and one more thing, my friends call me extremely random. although i don't know why. i don't think i am. but then again, leonardo davinci didn't think he was a genius for coming up with the circulation system. wait. did he even come up with that? or was that some other dead guy? don't know!

-why are teachers so hateful? they don't even give people a chance. like this one lady (i like to call her Hawk. she has an uber big nose) is always nagging on this one dude in my language arts class. just because he turned in one assignment late because he was sick the day before and couldn't make it to school. and she's always on his back now. like if he just absentmindedly forgets to pass a paper up she'll be all up on him saying crap like "you didn't finish your homework did you? DID YOU?" it really ticks me off. he used to be her favorite student and now he's on the bottom of the totem pole of favorites.

-but you know what i hate more than teachers? the Edies (Edie- group of popular people out to destroy all human kind; robotic clones that always follow the latest fashion adressed in the most recent Seventeen magazine; sluts). they absolutely piss me off. because they're always accusing my friend and me of being "gothic". so we wear black most of the days of the week. it does not constitute us as "goth". i hate them more than i hate the damn Hawk lady.

-i feel like writing a new song. dont know why. but i do for some odd reason.

-theres a giant blow up snowman sitting right next to me. he's staring out the window and has his hat in one hand and is waving to all the cars passing by (i'm in a library. shh!)

-that brings me to my next point. i probably won't write in this alot. i only come to the library about 3 times a week. so yah. my mommy works here so i get to come every once in a while (she doesn't like me to be here when the big important judge man from across the street comes in. i don't know why)

-so. i guess this is good bye! bye for now and i'll write more when i have a chance!

    </3    -maddie